Wednesday, September 17, 2008

"When it rains - it pours."

Isn't that so true sometimes?

Jeff and I did decide to go to New York for our Anniversary after all. We had a wonderful time visiting with his sister, brother-in-law and our little niece. We did a bunch of tourist type stuff - visit the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, museums, a musical and a bunch of really great places to eat.
We saw the remains of Hurricane Hanna while we were there - we had never seen it rain so hard and so much in our lives. Thinking it would only last a little while like it does here in Utah, we opted not to buy an umbrella from the street vendors. We were soooo wrong, and were soooo soaked when we finally arrived back at his sister's house - even our shoes were soaked through and sloshing out water with every step. But it was fun nonetheless.
Thankfully we were able to enjoy our time there despite the goings on here at home. Jeff's mom was so kind to make phone calls and follow up with my dad the entire time we were gone. I felt so much better knowing that. Which brings me to the sad, sad news:
Two weeks ago - on September 3rd, my sister-in-law was hit by a drunk driver and killed. Tammy was married to my older brother, Danny in 2002. They had a baby girl, Allie, in October of that year. Unfortunately they later divorced and Tammy moved to North Carolina with Allie. We, thankfully, were on very good terms with Tammy and were able to visit with Allie several times a year, and when Tammy would come out to Utah for business, she would stay at my parent's home instead of a hotel. We were able to continue a very close relationship, and in fact Tammy and Allie both flew out twice last summer specifically to visit our family - once in July for my brother Dave's wedding, and again in September for Jeff and I's wedding. Jeff was just commenting the other day that on our wedding day when he didn't know how to affix his boutonierre, Tammy was the one to help him.
The story of her death is quite tragic - she had gone to pick up her younger brother from his night courses at the college, upon arriving home, she parked her truck at the end of the drive so she could pick up the mail and her brother could load the garbage cans in the back of the truck. The drunk driver was travelling in the opposite lane of traffic, crossed the middle lines, crossed the oncoming lane, nearly missed her brother and struck her at 60+ mph. She was thrown over100 feet. We are all hoping that she passed quickly, however, that will not be confirmed until later as we are awaiting the Medical Examiner's report that will be used at the trial against the driver. The story continues and just becomes more and more tragic - too much to talk about right now. The part that is worth mentioning is that unfortunately a legal custody battle has ensued between Tammy's mom and my brother Danny for Allie. It is so easy for me to see both side's points-of-view. Tammy's mom has already lost her daughter - tragically - and now faces the loss of seeing her grand-daughter every day as she has become used to in the last several months that she has been living with Tammy and Allie. That thought is horrible, and I feel so very, very sad for her. On the other hand, I also know that not only does my brother have a legal right, as her father, to have custody and care of her, he sincerely wants her to come back and live here. He wants to have the father-daughter relationship he has not been able to have the last three years simply because of the physical distance between them. He is perfectly able and capable of providing her a happy, healthy and stable home - here, and he deserves his legal right to do so.
Ugh - what a mess. I''m so glad that I do not have to be the judge who decides what the right thing to do is. But for those of you with children, let this be a lesson to you: Make a will. Get it done as soon as possible. Make it very clear what your wishes are for your children and your estate should one or both parents die young. Most of us have a belief that we will live long lives, but we never know when something like this could happen.

Rachael

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Cancer

I hate cancer. I HATE it. I truly do. I wish I could do something to make it go away.

My darling dad is going through six months of chemotherapy after successful removal of a tumor in June. WHY??? does he have to have more chemotherapy after his cancer has been removed??? Because the cancer doctors said he needs to. I don't know what to think about that. This chemotherapy stuff is for the birds. My poor dad has lost over 50 lbs. He is very weak, tired a lot of the time, and is having a hard time being his normal happy self.
Yesterday, Jeff and I went to visit him and my mom at their house. He answered the door when we rang and said he felt light-headed like he had gotten up too fast. I leaned in to give him a hug, and he passed out right there in my arms, and I wasn't strong enough to hold him up. I was trying so hard, but he went down, and I went down too. I'm sure he is all bruised today, and I couldn't help him. That is what I hate the most about this whole thing - I can't do anything to help. I can't make it better, I can't tell him that he'll feel better soon.
And then I keep hearing about all these people dying from cancer at ages as young as and younger than my dad, and I can't handle the idea that it is possible to lose someone you love to this hateful disease. I love him so much - I don't know how I can help him to know that.
Jeff and I have a vacation planned to go to New York City for our one year anniversary leaving this Friday and will be gone for over a week, and I am so scared to leave. My heart is breaking at the thought that something might happen while we are gone. I don't know what to do. :(

Friday, July 18, 2008

My husband is FAMOUS

Okay, so not like some super-star or anything, but he is in an article that is currently on the front page of cnn.com! I swear I never thought anything so cool would come of his GI Joe obsession, but I must give him credit - his cubicle was pretty cool. Check out the article here: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/07/18/wacky.workspace/index.html

Now we are working on creating a room in our house for all his GI Joes. I was really bugged by them when we first got married - I thought it was childish, but then I realized that lots of guys get fanatical about something. My uncle, for example, is a HUGE sportsman and they have their house decorated in an outdoors/hunting/fishing theme with quite a few stuffed real animals he has caught. So I decided that it is pretty cool that Hasboro has come out with new editions of all the old figures Jeff played with as a kid for the 25th anniversary, though I never imagined that there were so many different guys and vehicles and weapons as there are. I have even watched some of the old cartoons with him - which brings back memories for me too. Though I didn't remember that everyone would say "GO JOE!" or "COBRA!" in unison so often, it's kind of silly, but hey, it was the 80's - things were a LOT different back then.

Anyway, it's pretty cool that he is on cnn.com

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Old Friends

So I got off of work early today and have been "googling" old friends names. It is soooo interesting to see where people are that I haven't seen in over 10 years. I'm glad to see so many people seem happy in their lives.
If anyone ever googles me I hope they see that I am the happiest I've ever been. Life is wonderful!
You should try it sometime, it's fun, googling people I mean - who knows you might find a long-lost friend!

Loves!
Rach

Thursday, June 26, 2008

What is this country coming to?

I had every intention of ranting about this issue yesterday, but decided I should wait a day and see if I still felt the same way... I do!
According to CNN.com http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/25/scotus.child.rape/index.html the Supreme Court of the USA has ruled that it is unconstitutional to execute a child rapist. According to the article, Justice Anthony Kennedy said "We conclude that, in determining whether the death penalty is excessive, there is a distinction between intentional first-degree murder on the one hand and nonhomicide crimes against individual persons, even including child rape, on the other,"

Excuse my french, but WHAT THE HELL???

Obviously they did not have enough data to make an informed decision. Do they not realize that a vast majority of these victims grow up to lead lives full of mental illness, drugs, alcohol, violence and some even commit suicide. Now, how is it okay for the victim to pay for this injustice with his/her life but the same is "unconstitutional" for the perpetrator?


According to Wikipedia - and I strongly suggest reading the whole article -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse
Child sexual abuse can result in both short-term and long-term harm, including psychopathology in later life. Psychological, emotional, physical, and social effects include depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, poor self-esteem, dissociative and anxiety disorders; general psychological distress and disorders such as somatization, neurosis, chronic pain, sexualized behavior, school/learning problems; and behavior problems including substance abuse, destructive behavior, criminality in adulthood and suicide. A specific characteristic pattern of symptoms has not been identified and there are several hypotheses on the causality of these associations.
A study funded by the USA National Institute of Drug Abuse found that "Among more than 1,400 adult females, childhood sexual abuse was associated with increased likelihood of drug dependence, alcohol dependence, and psychiatric disorders. The associations are expressed as odds ratios: for example, women who experienced nongenital sexual abuse in childhood were 2.93 times more likely to suffer drug dependence as adults than were women who were not abused."
Sexually abused children suffer from more psychological symptoms than children who have not been abused; studies have found symptoms in 51% to 79% of sexually abused children. Children may develop symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder resulting from child sexual abuse, even without actual or threatened injury or violence.

Okay, so I know I said in my last post that Jeff and I would move out of the country if McCain became president, but this is just as bad. I think I'm going to start looking for work in England. (I know, their proper english is practically a different language, but at least I'll be able to understand some of it.)

I am so angry! This will be one of the biggest reasons if Jeff and I decide not to have children. It makes me physically ill to think about how easily this abuse can happen and how many children live with it and are too afraid to tell anyone about it. Think of your children - try to remember when you were a child yourself - how can anyone hurt such an innocent being? But they do, and the Supreme Court has told those criminals that what they have done or are doing is not that bad and it has told those victims that their lives aren't worth shit.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I got tagged by my MIL to answer a few questions - here goes...
a) What was I doing 10 years ago?
I had just finished my first year of school at Utah State University and moved home to Salt Lake City for the summer. I was working two full-time jobs to save money for school (yeah, save money, ha ha ha).
b) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today
1. Sleep in - here it is 9:00am, and I have already been awake for over an hour...
2. Send an email to some old college friends who I had a very vivid dream about last night.
3. Hopefully talk Jeff into going to IKEA to look for the one finishing piece of furniture for our basement make-over
4. Take a nap or play Dr. Mario - I've become addicted to it again, I last played it when I was a young kid and Nintendo was new.
5. Visit with my parents and siblings for our weekly get-together. I sure hope little Harbor is there - I love that kid!
c.) Snacks I enjoy
chips - pretty much ANY kind
Hostess cupcakes - Seriously I could not live without these
Diet Coke
d.) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Pay off mortgages for my family
Pay off all of my debts
Invest my money and live off the interest
Become a lobbyist for tougher laws against sex offenders
Buy jewelry... (I love sparkly things)
Get a maid
Oh, the list could go on and on
e.) Places I have lived
West Valley City, Utah
Logan, Utah
Riverton, Utah
Midvale, Utah
West Jordan, Utah

I know, what a boring list of places to have lived, but if McCain becomes the next US President, we're moving out of the country. :)

Loves, Rachael

Monday, June 2, 2008

Ah, the ups and downs of life...

My dad's surgery was a success! The doctor said that when she removed the part of the colon that had previously held the tumor all that was left was a scar! And she was able to put him back together which means that his ileostomy will not be permanent. Yay! So for several days everyone was in really good spirits and thinking that we were near the end of the "cancer" scare. Unfortunately we were all mistaken. :( When the doctor was in doing the surgery, she also took out several lymph nodes to test if there were cancerous cells still in them, and the results came back yesterday - 5 of 22 contained cancerous cells. So that means that my dad will recover from his surgery for one month, then begin his first of six more chemotherapy treatments. Each treatment lasts 2 weeks, and then he gets a month off, then two weeks until the six treatments are completed. THEN they will test the lymph nodes again and determine if he has any cells remaining. Unfortunately he will have to keep the ileostomy bad through this entire process. (He had previously thought he would be free of it within 6-8 weeks from now.) He is the one with the best attitude about this whole thing - which is really good.
A miracle happened yesterday too. My older brother went to the hospital to visit my dad. I know that doesn't seem like much to most people, but they haven't spoken to each other in a couple of years, and I honestly didn't think they would EVER speak to each other again. But I guess it takes stuff like the possibility of your dad dying to make you think and decide to patch things up. Now if I can only get things patched up between he and I, we can all be one big happy family again. I guess we'll see.
Okay, I need to get back to work. Just wanted to let you all know the news.
Loves,
Rach

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Monday Tuesdays and short weeks

Today has definitely been a Monday Tuesday. The day is lasting FOR-EV-ER, and no matter what I do the time just continues to drag and drag. This is not only due to it being the first day back to work after a long weekend, but during that long weekend we travelled to Denver and back. We had a BLAST! Jeff and I drove his new 4-door Jeep Wrangler across Wyoming on our way there and back the southern route via I-70 & Hwy 6. I must admit that the southern route is MUCH prettier, but it did seem to last a very long time. We went out to visit Jeff's sister and her family and see a few things in Colorado, get away from the house and give Jeff a chance to really drive his new vehicle. Jeff's sister is the oldest in their family, and Jeff is the third of four total, but since he didn't find me until after he was 30, the rest of his family seems so much more progressed with their individual families, and we feel like the youngest of the group. For example, we have a nephew who is 21 and going to college in Arizona. This is a little crazy for me to think about because my little sister is just 21 - how can I have a sister and a nephew that are the same age??? Plus, my sister has been married for two and a half years and has a son that is 18 months old, so in reality, my nephew is old enough to be a father... that would make me a great aunt! Yikes!
Anyhow, we arrived at about midnight on Friday and stayed until about 10:30 on Monday morning. We had such a good time visiting with his sister and her family. We went and saw the dinosaur tracks and the red-rocks ampitheater. We went on a scenic drive through the mountains and Jeff and I had a scrumptious Mexican dinner at their favorite Mexican restaurant. We shopped at the mall (but we got there too late to see Tiffany's... probably a good thing as I'm such a HUGE jewelry fan I most likely would have purchased something). We went to breakfast on Sunday at IHOP where our niece just started her first job as a hostess. We all had different varieties of french toast (Yummmmie!) and spent a little while WalMart hopping looking for GI Joes for Jeff (he is collecting the new 25th anniversary figures - he was WAY into them as a kid, and is having tons of fun seeing them all again). We had barbecued burgers for dinner that night again it was fantastic! We watched Patriot Games and all of a sudden the weekend was over and it was time for us to drive home.
Tomorrow my dad is having surgery to remove the cancer, and I am going to be at the hospital to be a support to my mom during the wait. So that means that I will have missed two days of work this week. The down-side of being a contractor is that I have no paid vacation/holiday time, so I'm working 12-hour days today and Thursday and Friday and will be working on stuff tomorrow at the hospital to make up the remaining 4 hours. So here it is 2:00pm and I have already been here for 8 hours. I'll be here for another 4, yikes! I don't know how long it has been since I worked a 12 hour day, probably over a year since I quit working so many hours when I met and married Jeff.
Yay! My boss took me and the two other new employees in our department on a field trip to see one of the larger substations in the Salt Lake Valley and then one of the smaller local ones. He explained what all of the equipment does and the different designs. When you see those arms coming off the poles, they don't look that big from the ground, but in reality they are like 16 feet long! Crazy!
Anyhow, that helped pass some of the time today, so now it is 3:40 and I only have two hours and twenty minutes left today!
Oh, and my dad is going in to surgery tomorrow morning at 7:00am. His surgery is supposed to last about 4 hours. I think I might come back into work after we get the news that he has come through and everything looks good (mostly I'm going to be there to support my mom), and then maybe I won't have to work so long on Thursday and Friday.
Anyway, please keep my daddy in your prayers tomorrow. I'm sure he's going to be fine, but extra prayers can never hurt.
Loves!
Rachael

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thank Goodness!

Some days I feel so grateful for so many things and tend to notice the little things especially. Like tea. My new job provides coffee, tea, hot chocolate or hot apple cider to all employees. I know it is a pretty standard perk, but at times like this morning, when I was getting drowsy, I am so glad that I could run and get a quick cup of green tea which has perked me right up. Luckily I am one of those people who doesn't mind the bitterness and in fact even enjoys it, so I don't need any sweetener, etc.
Another thing I am grateful for is my new job. I know I've said it a ton of times, but I could not have created a better position if I were to make it up myself. I am working on our BIG monthly report today, and I haven't run into any problems so far (knock on wood), it makes me feel good to know that I have learned enough to accomplish this task on my own. :)
I am also thankful for sweaters. I know, crazy, as it is in the 70's outside right now, but I think they keep the office at 60. So I look like a looney driving to work in the mornings all bundled up, but at least I'm able to work once I get here.
Oh, and I'm in love with the Spring weather, it is so nice! Jeff and I walked down to Becca and Jeremy's house on Tuesday and played outside with Harbor for about a half hour. He is so much fun.
I'm so glad that I don't have bad hives today - on Tuesday my eyes were all puffed up by hives, I had tiny slits for eyes - embarassing. Oh, and I'm so happy that I am going to get my hair dyed tonight - it has needed it for a couple of weeks now, but I try to push it as long as possible. Those gals at the beauty school have done an excellent job. Jeff thinks I should get some highlights - what do you think?

Loves!
Rachael

Monday, May 12, 2008

What a weekend!

Wow, there are so very many things to say today. This weekend was filled with so much fun!

On Saturday we went to Gardiner Village with Jeff's mom and grandma. It was such a beautiful day! (Someday I'm going to start carrying around a camera so I can take pictures of this stuff). But in the meantime, if you'd like to see some, go to my mother-in-law's blog at www.mainstreetmemories.blogspot.com We wandered in and out of stores, found a Jim Shore angel for my mom for mothers day, and just enjoyed ourselves and the weather. Then we went back to the parent's house for some Tres Leches cake that Jeff made. MMMMMMMMM!!!!! Let me just say that it was DIVINE - yes, nectar of the Gods. It is a dense cake that turns out yellow in color (probably due to the 10 eggs it calls for), oh, I forgot to mention that it has so many calories I don't even want to know. Anyway, after the cake has baked, you pour on a liquid combination of sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk, regular milk, and heavy whipping cream (yah, did I mention we won't think about the calories?). Then to finish it off, you top it with fresh sliced strawberries. You don't need to sugar the strawberries, the cake is sweet enough to make the combination WONDERFUL!
Then we all piled in the newly re-designed front room and watched some TV, most of us fell asleep. :) Then we had Cheese Steak sandwiches for dinner - again, it was YUM-O! We always eat good food when we go to their house.
On Sunday we went out to my parent's house. We sat around and talked for a while - Jenny gave us the latest goings on with her family and her brother's funeral. My dad's mom came over for dinner as well as my dad's brother, Uncle Jeff and his wife, Julie and their daughter, Jalissa. We had shish-kabobs (I hope that's how you spell it), which were very very good. The highlight of my day had to be playing with little Harbor - my nephew who is 17 months old. I swear every time I see him I get the desire to be a mom myself. He is so adorable. Yesterday we went outside and he spotted every airplane that flew by, and when there weren't any in the sky, he would hold his hands up in the "I don't know where it is" gesture - SO CUTE! Then he would make the animal noises when I would ask him "What's a bear say?" And he would do this tiny little growl with almost no noise behind it, then at monkey he would say "ooo, ooo, ooo" and his mouth would form this perfect little circle. He jumped on the trampoline while holding my hand, and we barked back at the neighbor's dog when he got up on the swingset and began barking at us. My heart just melts when I say goodbye and he gives me a hug and puts his face up for a kiss, and shakes his little hand back and forth. I also love when I put my hand out, he just automatically reaches up and grabs it. If you couldn't tell - I love that little boy!
Also yesterday I found out that my mom's dad is going to receive the Melchezidek Priesthood next Sunday. That is the higher priesthood within the Mormon church. It is so crazy for me to think of it - my whole life he has been a smoker and drinker and he would cuss all the time and didn't treat my grandma very well. I haven't seen them in about four years - another long story for another day. But I guess he has completely changed around. Apparently he wants to take my grandma to the Temple. My mom told me about it yesterday and mentioned that Dave and Jenny would be gone for the funeral and that Becca and Jeremy would still be on their cruise, so Jeff and I would be the only ones left in town and we were invited to come to church for the event. I quickly mentioned that Jeff and I would be out of town this weekend too - she asked where and I said "I don't know yet, I just know we won't be able to go to church." So if we show up on your doorstep this weekend - I hope you'll be okay with us crashing for a couple of days. :)
Oh! Another highlight of yesterday was my dad wearing this t-shirt that his brother Tim had made for him that says "Be nice to me. Cause I have Cancer, Ya know." HILARIOUS! My dad has been saying that since he got his diagnosis, and previous to that, for about 15 years he has said "I just had surgery, ya know." Even though it had been YEARS since then. He is so funny!
Okay, okay, I'll quit jabbering away. I know you've all got to be bored to tears by now. But just remember that family is the most important thing in life, enjoy them while you have them.

Loves!
Rachael

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Sad, sad news...

My younger brother, Dave, got married last year just six weeks before Jeff and I did. He met Jenny online at ldslinkup.com She was living in Florida at the time when they met, but decided to move out here to Utah shortly after the New Year under the pretense of going to school here (somehow I think she may actually have wanted to meet and date my brother). Jenny is such a fun girl! She brings out the best in Dave, and they are perfect for each other. Anyhow, last July her mom and brothers came out to Utah from Florida and California for the wedding. Of course our interactions were only for that one day, but it was great to see and meet some of her family.

Yesterday Jenny's older brother committed suicide by cop. Apparently his wife had recently filed for divorce, and he had moved from California back to Florida to get his life back together. Well, yesterday he went to the county court house to respond to the divorce papers his wife had filed, but had bigger plans. When he arrived at the court house, the officers at the check point asked him to put his backpack through the X-ray. He dropped the bag while pulling out a semi-automatic handgun, and opened fire. He struck an officer in the shoulder, and that officer and the other at the door both fired back in defense, and killed him.

I cannot imagine what his family must be feeling right now. Thankfully I have not had to deal with such a tragic loss with a close family member. Don't get me wrong, there have been many deaths in my family, but all from expected health/age-related problems.

My mom has been pretty bummed about this - she says that as a mother, she feels so badly for his mother. She, unfortunately has had to think about/deal with a suicidal child, and her suicide attempts. I have never seen things from this side of the street - it is completely different to see how this has affected so many people. Yet I completely understand the pain that comes with suicidal thoughts, and how I wasn't thinking about how my decision to kill myself would affect other people, only of how bad the pain was and how much I wanted it to stop.

I feel so terrible for Jenny. It is hard to know what I can or should do to help/support her at this time. I wish I could take some of her pain away. I'm so glad that she has Dave though, he is so kind and understanding and empathetic. He will take care of her and help her through this rough time.

I guess I learned a huge lesson today - that the things that we do affect other people in ways we can never know.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

For some reason I feel like throwing myself a pity party tonight. I keep thinking of all the crappy things that have happened in my life, and feeling like I need someone to say "You went through hell, and I'm sorry you had to, it wasn't fair, you didn't do anything to deserve it, you are a good person." I guess I'll just have to say it to myself.
It's hard though, those old familiar feelings that I can NEVER do anything right are starting to creep back up, and I'm struggling to understand why. Why me?
I just spent about an hour typing all of the reasons I deserve a pity party, then realized that this is the internet and I probably should not post such things here. I guess I need someone to talk to.
Okay, I'm tired of my own whiny-ness. I need to get over myself and just get some sleep, everything will look better in the morning.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Friday, Friday!

Sung to the tune of "Monday, Monday..." This morning I seem to have gotten ready for the day especially quickly because it is 7:20 and I'm already at work. I guess it makes sense since I don't wash my hair every day, but instead opt for every other day (keeps my locks more shiny and not dried out). I neglected to change the alarm clock to compensate for this extra time. Oh well, now there's time to write a quick blog. :)
Jeff is so very cute in the mornings! While I was unemployed (for 5 whole months!), he used to write in his blog about how hard it was to leave for work while I was still all snuggly in our bed. Well, now the tables have turned. I am the one who gets to say goodbye while he is all sleepy and comfy in bed. Most days I'm just in such a hurry to get to work that I don't take the time to appreciate how very cute he is, but today... today I just stood there for a few extra seconds and smiled and felt so much love for this wonderful man. He really is the best person I have ever known. He is so selfless and so easy-going. I guess maybe he helps to balance me out, because I tend to be selfish and a stress-ball most of the time, but have noticed that I'm much calmer since I've been with him. I love him! Not only is he wonderful, but he helps me to be a better person too. What more could I possibly want?
On to a new subject... I have lost 10 pounds since I started my new job a little over three weeks ago. Yay!!! I decided that I would step on the scale this morning and was quite surprised and pleased to see that my hard work is paying off. :) Believe me, opting for apple slices over fries at Mickey-Dee's is not very easy, but I am seeing that it is worth the effort.
Well, I best be getting to work - I am creating an Access database for the first time in my life, and it is difficult, but sooooo much fun to learn (except when I want it to do something and I'm sure I have entered the right formula only to see a response that says #Name? or #Error) but so far I have figured out the snags and am starting to feel a bit of confidence in my ability.

Have an excellent day!
Loves!
Rach

Friday, April 25, 2008

Stimulus Package

Yay! I just read on irs.gov that Jeff and I will be getting our "stimulus package" on May 16th! Such good news! I had seen a different schedule earlier this year that said that we wouldn't get our "rebate" until September since the last two of my social is "94" we are at the very end of the list. But hey, it's $1200 free bucks! Though I know where $826 of that will be going - to pay for that root canal from yesterday... Yow! My mouth hurts something fierce today - if you ever have to face a root canal, I would suggest that you have your tooth pulled instead! Seriously, it was NOT fun!
Today has been a roller-coaster of plans... my dad called at lunch time to see if Jeff and I wanted to fly to sunny California for Jeff's birthday. I was all for it, and called Jeff to see if he could get the time off. We both got Monday off, then my dad said he needed to make sure he was allowed to fly, so then the trip was tentatively on hold. Then my dad got clearance to go, but they wanted to wait until next weekend since it is my sister's husband's birthday then - it would be like a double celebration. The only problem is that Jeff has month-end next week, so he could not get the time off. So - we're back to our original plan to go to New York on May 8. Though my mom & dad and sister & brother-in-law and nephew might be going to New York too! (Don't worry Brandi, if you're reading this, they'll get a hotel room.)
So, it looks like we're set up for another restful weekend at home - which is just what I want/need! Though in the conversation I just had with Jeff he mentioned that maybe we should clean our house... yeah, we probably should, but it's so not fun. We'll see. Happy Day, it's 3:35, and I only have 25 minutes of work left today! Yay!
Have a great weekend, and if you end up going to California/Disneyland, I don't want to hear about it. :)
Loves, Rachael

Thursday, April 24, 2008

When it rains it pours.

Yeah, so I woke up this morning to SNOW! What the crap??? It is supposed to be Spring! I am sooooooo sick of winter/snow/cold/having to wear socks & shoes! Last night Jeff and I walked to the mailbox to get our mail and I didn't wear any shoes. It was wonderful! Though Jeff will tell you that I said "Ouch" quite a few times - which is true - I LOVED being shoeless. This is one of my most favorite things about Spring/Summer/Fall - I get to wear sandals and flip-flops! (I wore sandals today anyway because I can't stand the idea of socks and shoes again!)
So, I've had a little earache for the past week and decided I should probably get it checked out - it was getting progressively worse. Turns out I don't have an ear problem at all, I have a sinus problem. It also turns out that it is a good thing that I went to the doc because one of the medications I am taking for my hives (haven't had them for a week now!) is an immunosupressant. So my doc prescribed me antibiotics, gave me some nose spray and ordered Mucinex as well. AND she said that if I ever start to feel even the tiniest bit sick I should come in to see her so it doesn't develop into something worse.
I get to go see the dentist again today to finish my root canal...not so much fun, but I'm glad it is finally getting finished - though the $800 bill is extremely undesirable. I have spent a ton of money getting these teeth straight and healthy - my smile is worth the expense.
So last night I was all primed to go to bed at 10 again, but then we watched Star Wars III, and then I couldn't fall asleep, so I ended up not falling asleep until 12:30. BUT I didn't have any caffeine after 5:30, and I noticed that I slept better once I did get to sleep, and I have only been a little drowsy at work today.
On a side note - I love Thursdays. I used to think that Friday was the best day, and maybe it still is, but Thursday has moved right up on my list.
Okay, I better get back to work.
Loves! Rach

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happy B-earth-day

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. I also just so happens to be Earth Day. Same day, every year - Mom's birthday and Earth day. So we went to Training Table (a Utah original) for dinner and had famous cheese fries with the Ultimate dipping sauce. My younger sister, her husband and son were there too. I got to sit next to the little one - he's 16 months old, and therefore got the duty of dipping his fry in the sauce over and over and over again. He would suck the sauce off and hand it back to me without eating the fry. I tricked him a couple of times though by getting a bite-sized piece of chicken and dipping it and when he went to grab it, I just shoved it in his mouth and said "What a good boy!" and clapped, so he ate it. My sister had dressed him in the cutest sweater vest that had his initials embroidered on it. Every time I get to see him it makes me want to have a child. He is so adorable, and all boy!
So my new job is so great! I am having such a good time learning so much! I haven't had to go to one meeting yet! Yay! I love just being able to do my job. Now if I could only get over this mid morning drowsiness life would be perfect! I told myself that I was going to go to bed at 10 last night, but then Jeff and I watched Star Wars I and II and all of a sudden it was 12. Oh well, there's always tonight, right?
I better get to that work.
Loves! Rachael

Monday, April 21, 2008

I hate being talked to like I am a child!

Okay, so I lost my new badge for work. I know, I know, I've only worked there for a couple of weeks, HOW could I possibly loose my badge already? I don't know! But unfortunately the fact of the matter is that I have lost it. So I walked in the building and straight to the Security desk and inform them that I have lost my badge and need a new one. The girl behind the desk asks for my name and when I give it to her, she says "But you're a brand new employee! How could you have lost it already? Okay, I'll give you a new one. But you better not loose this one, these are EXTREMELY expensive and practically irreplacable. I'm going to make you one, but understand that these are EXTREMELY expensive. If you find your old one, please bring it back to us as it can be used again."
Then she haughtily hands me my new badge as though I were simply careless about my badge and basically a complete idiot. RUH!!! Hello?!? I am an adult here, I do know how much these badges cost (I used to be in charge of them at another job somewhere else.) And yeah, they're expensive, but you just gotta go with the flow, people lose their badges sometimes, it's going to happen whether it is that persons first week or they have been with the company for 17 years.
Plus it is not like I was purposely being careless. I just can't remember where I put it when I got home from work on Thursday. I wish I could just visualize myself taking it off and setting it ... WHERE? Dang it!
Jeff and I talked about traveling to New York this coming weekend for his birthday, but it turns out my boss is out of the office until Friday of this week, so I can't ask if it is okay for me to have the time off before I need to book the flights. So... it looks like we won't be going this weekend afterall. But we are tentatively looking at the weekend of May 8th for a reschedule. Here's hoping that I can get the time off. :)
Loves, Rach

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sunday Morning

Now that I am back in the working mode I have been unable to sleep in. Even on the weekends! I LOVE sleeping, so this has been a very weird development. Yesterday I woke up at 6:45, and today I woke up at 7:00. I am so used to sleeping on the weekends until around 11 or 12. (It's two minutes to 12 right now and Jeff is still snoring away.) Anyway, I have all of this extra time and I'm not sure what to do with myself. Oh, there is plenty of things for me to do (it has been WAAAAY too long since I last swept and mopped the kitchen floor), but this is my day off - my day to relax, okay, so I'm just not motivated to do anything productive.
This morning I got an email from Geni.com reminding me that Jeff's birthday is on the 27th, and I thought it would be fun to check things out on my family tree - how big it has gotten in the last year and a half. Geni is a way cool site. You can network with your family and get info on the latest happenings. My mom created our family site last year in February and now I have information on fourth cousins twice removed, it is cool to see all of the connections. I recommend checking it out. :)
Okay, I think I'm going to go wake up my cute husband and tell him I'm tired of him sleeping all day long. Have a great Sunday!
Loves! Rach

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Ah, it's been a week.

Well, I've officially made it through my first week of work. I spent the first four days almost constantly online doing training and learning very interesting stuff about power. Thankfully the last couple of days I have been doing my actual work - I mean the stuff they are paying me to do. It is SO fun!!! I am learning so much, and feel really good about the work I am able to do. I guess in those five months that I sat at home I forgot that I am pretty knowledgable about some things. I have been so exhausted when I get home though - I had gotten really used to those afternoon naps. :)

My new visiting teachers came to meet me today. I'm always so unsure about what I should say/do around new people, especially Mormons. I have a very good understanding of the LDS religion - I should, I spent 23 years as a very devout member. When I was a young teenager I went to church every Sunday by myself - my parents/family were going through a period of inactivity, but I knew that I should be at church and not out to eat or at a movie with them. I lived the high standards of the church - very strictly. I was considered a "Molly Mormon" which in Mormon terms is one of the people who seem to do everything right. I even went through the Temple when I was 21. So, it is awkward when members of the church ask why I am not active now. It is so confusing to know what I should and shouldn't say. I don't want to affect their beliefs or freak them out, but the truth is the truth, right? Thankfully I didn't get this question from the new visiting teachers, just a short message about marriage.

That's all for today. :)

Friday, April 11, 2008

Blissful Happiness

I don't think I have been so happy in my entire life as I am at this time. Sure I have problems, who doesn't? But I have finally found the love of my life and he is the most amazing man in the whole world. Everything else just falls in the background when I think of him or am with him. We could be doing absolutely nothing and I would be in heaven just because I am with him. He takes such good care of me. Today my hives returned in a REAL bad way, and when I got home Jeff rubbed Icy Hot all over them. He kept sneezing because it is SO very pungent, but he didn't let that stop him. He opens doors for me, he lets me have the first bite of our dessert, he listens to me, he holds me when I need it, and he loves me. Sometimes I wonder if it can really be true.
And his family is so great. All of them. I truly feel like part of the family and very loved.
Life is wonderful.
Loves! Rachael

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Happy Days are Here Again!

Do you ever get little phrases from songs or movies stuck in your brain? It happens to me ALL the time - next time you see me, ask me what song is running through my head at the moment and you'll be surprised to hear me start singing it. :)
Today - in comparison to yesterday - was absolutely WONDERFUL! First I have to start off by saying that my most darling husband brought me home the most beautiful roses and plant for my desk at work last night. He is so so so very good to me. Then I dragged him to yet ANOTHER doctor's appointment - this time the PCP for an increase in my thyroid medication (it showed up on those tests from the rhumetologist). ANYWAY - my doctor is the most wonderful healthcare provider I have EVER known, and believe me I have known a LOT. The nurse that had been working with her for the past 10 years died last month in a motorcycle accident in Hawaii. So we chatted about her and how different things are without her there. We talked about the kid who was screaming his head off when we arrived and how she was teaching him that he doesn't always get his way. We talked about how happy Jeff and I are and about her kids, and an hour and a half later Jeff and I walked out the door. Well, we waited for 30 minutes before she saw us (obviously she tends to get behind), but we spent an hour chatting like old friends. It is so cool to me that my doctor actually CARES about me - not just physically, but about my life and my mental well being. So, she actually wrote me a prescription for a second thyroid supplement which she said to take in the morning and at lunch and that I would feel a burst of energy. Boy was she right! I have not had this much energy in YEARS! Wow what a difference! I even spent the whole day training by myself on the online courses the company offers, only talked to about three people all day (which includes Jeff and my boss). I learned so much about electricity and regulations and safety and Access and Microsoft Project and the company. If I had had to do that yesterday, I would have surely fallen asleep.
ALSO - though I woke up with a half swollen eye from the hives here it is 11 hours later and all that are left are mere shadows of the hives - that new medicine is working!!!!!!!!!!
AND - my boss said he is totally cool with me working a flexible schedule. Today I went in at 7:45, took a 15 minute lunch and got to go home at 4:00!!! I can really get used to this contracting stuff!
OH, and I stuck with the low-calorie food plan all day today and have already had 6 of my 8 glasses of water... Man, what a great day!
PLUS, tomorrow is Friday and it will be the weekend! YAY!
Loves, Rachael

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Have you ever had a Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very-bad Day?

Ever since I was a little kid I have always wanted to use that phrase from the book - I don't think today qualifies to that level, but it was close.
1. Woke up at 6:00 AM from a TERRIBLE nightmare including me having to confront people I know about their poor attitudes and ending with one of them trying to shoot me. It was so real, I woke up crying and had to wake Jeff up.
2. While straightening my hair with the curling iron, I bumped my forehead, so now I have a pink mark on the right side of my head about the size of a quarter.
3. Traffic. I was all set to be to my new job early, but ended up walking in the doors at 7:59. (At least I wasn't late)
4. Had to have my picture taken for my new badge for work - I looked okay, but remember the quarter on my forehead? Oh, and not to mention those extra pounds I packed on while I was on steroids earlier this year. (The plus side to this is that in a couple of months from now someone will see my badge and say "Whoa, you don't even look like the same person.")
5. Hives. Very, very, very bad outbreak today. I tried so hard not to scratch while my new boss was explaining things to me, but sometimes I just couldn't help it.
6. Had to request time off on my very first day because
7. I chipped a huge chunk of my tooth off last night and had to go have it fixed today.
8. On my way out of the building, I began falling half-way down the stairs (this is my biggest fear in life - ask Jeff) but caught myself slightly so I ended up only
9. Hitting my head on the wall
10. Twisting my knee
11. Twisting my ankle
12. And breaking my brand new sunglasses that I have gotten so many compliments on.

1. One positive thing is that I was able to slip in a visit with the dermatologist and she is putting me on cyclosporin to HOPEFULLY clear up the hives.
2. My new job is Great!
3. My new boss is so cool!
4. I'm eating peach sherbet!
5. The dentist gave me some Lortab for my tooth pain - which is also relieving my headache. :)
6. It's 5:30 and Jeff will be home soon.

I'm crossing my fingers that my second day might go a little bit better. :)
Loves, Rachael

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

YAY!!!

And the verdict is... absolutely NO abnormalities in my tests other than that my thyroid medication may need to be increased!!! So it's great that it is not an autoimmune problem, now if I could just figure out what is causing these darn hives, that would be great! I borrowed a book from the library today titled Beat Your Allergies it contains 52 ideas, so I'm sure there has got to be one that can work for me. :)
I start my new job tomorrow. I'm a tiny bit nervous, but really really excited. Five months off has been quite excessive and I am looking forward to being back at work full-time. FINALLY!
I am also starting a new weight-loss program tomorrow. (I was supposed to start it at the beginning of February, but not having a structured schedule, I found it too difficult to have self-control.) So now that I will be working full-time again I will have the strutured time I need to be successful. :)
Wish me luck!
Loves, Rachael

Monday, April 7, 2008

Feeling much better. :)

Sorry for such a downer post earlier - I guess it finally sunk in today that my dad has cancer - a sometimes deadly disease - and he is literally fighting for his life. That all too familiar "Oh, no, I cannot deal with this - this is too much" feeling came over me and I cried while I was writing. But now, thanks to my wonderful husband and his parents, I am feeling much better. They offered a different interpretation to the dream - he is being asked if he is ready for this fight, to win over cancer. I like that much better and am choosing to believe that is what the question is about.
In other news, yesterday my sister and brother-in-law mentioned that they had an ongoing disagreement about buying chocolate protein powder since it was so expensive. My sister mentioned that she finally gave in last week and they bought a huge bottle from Costco. The funny thing is that Jeff works for a company that deals in powders, and he can get it for free. So today he came home with a HUGE box of chocolate protein powders and we dropped it off at their house. They were surprised and pleased - I love that Jeff was willing to do this little thing because he loves my family too.
Also, tomorrow I have my follow-up appointment with the Rhuemetologist to see what the latest round of tests have to say. She said that she doesn't think it is dermatomyositis (what the dermatologist thought it might be) but instead thinks either it is not an autoimmune problem at all, or it is Lupus. I'm voting for it to not be an autoimmune disease, and simply an allergy of unknown origin. I'm crossing my fingers (and my toes and my legs and my eyes - what else can you cross?). I'll know more tomorrow.
Well, we got invited over to my sister's house for dessert - so I'll be off, just wanted to let you know that I'm much better now.
Loves! Rachael

Are you ready?

Jeff and I get to visit his parents usually every Saturday, and then get to spend time with my parents and siblings on Sunday. I know I have only got three posts on here, but a ton has been going on in my life, so this will probably seem kind of choppy, so I am sorry I will try harder in the future. Anyhow, earlier this year my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I was actually with him the day he first found out there was a problem. He needed someone to drive him home from his colonoscopy, and my mom was terribly ill with the flu, so I was recruited. It wasn't a problem for me since I have been unemployed for the past five months, and was easily available to help out. So - after his procedure, the doctor came in to meet with me in the waiting room and said that there was a "mass" which he was pretty sure was cancerous, but that my dad would need to meet with an oncologist and have some more defining tests done. Then he said, we should go tell my dad the diagnosis together so he had some support for the news... I was the very first person to find out he had cancer - even before he did. Surprisingly, I was not nervous or scared in the least bit. I just had this feeling of calm and belief that he would make it through the treatments and come out fine on the other side. I have continued to feel this sense of peace throughout the past couple of months - until yesterday. We were all sitting around in the family room of my mom and dad's house and for some reason the topic of dreams came up, and my dad told us that a couple of days ago he had a very vivid dream of simply a voice asking "Are you ready?" over and over again. So, naturally I immediately think that it is a spiritual sign asking him if he is ready to die. My sister jokingly said that he should carry a sign with him to bed every night that reads "Hell NO!" And we quickly left the subject, but it has been festering in my brain ever since that moment. I simply cannot lose my dad. He is one of my best friends, he has always been there for me - even when I have made EXTREMELY stupid mistakes and have hurt him badly, he has been forgiving and loving throughout my life. He is my daddy. The main man in my life for 28 years - my example of unconditional love. I love him so much. EVERY time he sees me he hugs me and kisses me and lets me know that he loves me, even if I am just dropping something off and am just there for a second. I know that there could be a million interpretations to the dream, if it means anything at all - it's just scary is all.
Jeff's mom is a breast cancer survivor, she had stage 3 cancer too - about 10 years ago and had a double mastectomy, but she made it. She survived. I hate that she had to endure that, but I am grateful at the same time because my Jeff knows what I am going through and is such a wonderful supportive husband. He told me that he was so afraid that he would lose her before he found his wife and she wouldn't get to see him in a happy stable place. He understands so well how I am feeling from a child's perspective. I am so very glad that she is able to see us so happily married and in love. I am so glad I have a mother-in-law that is so much fun and so thoughtful and loving. I so hope that we will have many more years where we both can enjoy our parents-in-law, and share our lives with them.
Anyhow, this is my message to our Heavenly Father - My dad is one of the most wonderful men I have ever known. He may be ready, but I am definitely not. Besides, my dad deserves to get to see his future grandchildren whom he already loves without even knowing them. He deserves to have so many more years of life with my mom and my siblings and myself. So if the plan is for him to die soon, please re-evaluate this - I need him. My mom needs him. My siblings need him. His grandchildren need him. His siblings need him. His parents need him. We all need him here. Please. Please. Please.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I'm sick

I hate being sick. I truly do. My husband would probably argue the opposite, but the fact is I hate it. The problem is, I feel sick or poorly a vast majority of the time. I never realized this until Jeff and I have been married. Suddenly it is quite annoying all of the times I don't feel well and have to lay down instead of play with my new husband. Itchy hives driving me crazy, headaches, tummy aches, body aches, etc. It seems almost like a daily thing anymore, and I for one am sick of it! (he he he) I have an appointment tomorrow with a rhumetologist to see if she can figure out what is wrong with me as far as my hives go - I've had them constantly for the last four months (except five weeks while I was taking prednisone), and I have terrible body aches and tiredness. I would say that I am sleeping about 14 hours a day these days mostly from pure exhaustion, and a little from boredom.
Anyhow, today I am having flu-like symptoms - nausea, vomitting, diarrhea, cold sweats, all that fun stuff. NOT. I'm lying in bed throwing myself a pity party that I don't even feel well enough to go downstairs to the kitchen to see if there is anything that is calling my name to eat (I'm finally getting hungry).
Thankfully my Jeff is so wonderful. He is going to pick me up some 7-up and soda crackers from the store on his way home from work tonight. He is the best. I love him so much.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Almost Six Months

Jeff and I have been married for almost six months now (six months exactly tomorrow), and my experience today in comparison with my experience after we'd been married only a month is like night and day. I think we have gotten a better understanding of each other, what our own little quirks are and what our specific BIG needs are as well. We have kind of settled into this comfortable routine and I am really enjoying being a newlywed. Jeff continues to be the most amazing and wonderful man in the universe - so kind, so gentle, so loving, so caring, so selfless, so perfect. Everyday I ask myself what I did to deserve such a wonderful husband, and he is so humble, he says that HE is the lucky one (HA!). Him - having to live with a stubborn, selfish, jealous, impatient, and all around slacker, he thinks he is the lucky one. Ah, my darling, if you could only see yourself through my eyes. If you could only see how wonderful and perfect you are to me. I love you.

Oh! Here are the important things I should say specifically about today (and one thing about yesterday).
1. The company I had an interview with yesterday called this morning and asked me to send over my references. (Yay! I know it's not an offer, but at least that means they're interested.)
2. My dad has had his first week of chemotherapy and radiation and says that he feels fine - no different so far. He had to spend all day at the doctor's office yesterday getting the week-long dose of chemotherapy hooked up and a 4-hour iron treatment, so he was bummed that he had to spend one of his days off doing medical stuff, but otherwise is in good spirits.
3. Yesterday I went to Old Navy and found the ONE (1) pair of jeans that they had in my exact right size in the entire store, which of course did not have a tag on it, so I headed to the register and the lady at the counter said "Oh, that's cause it is from online, how does $12.99 sound?" I was ecstatic! If I were to order the same jeans online they would have cost me $39.50 plus $5.00 shipping. I LOVE finding good deals!
4. Another good deal I found today - DSW Shoes. The shoes in the regular store are comparable in price to shoes at Famous Footwear, but they have a MUCH bigger selection. But the great deal is in the Clearance section in the back of the store where they have marked down last season's styles from 30-80% off the tagged price. For example, take a pair of shoes that last season cost $59.95. They are now marked $49.95 with a green sticker. A green sticker means 50% off, so the shoes now cost $24.98 + tax. (Yay! I LOVE shoes!)
5. Today is Friday, and it is 3:25 in the afternoon, that means that the weekend is starting in just about an hour and a half!

Loves!
Rachael

Sunday, February 24, 2008

My new family

The whole reason I even have this blog is because of my new Mother-in-law. She has a GREAT blog, which inspired me to give it a try.
The last couple of weekends Jeff and I have been helping out at his parent's house with a room re-do. His parents live in this cute little historic part of our community and have a great house with so much character, but it is an older home, so what we anticipated would take one weekend has stretched to two. Understandably with plaster walls, adding crown molding, new base boards, bead board to one wall, a BEAUTIFUL shelf, and a window seat/bookcase unit around the front window. My Father-in-law is a genius when it comes to wood working and making a vision into reality. WOW!
Thankfully I got to do the easy stuff - caulking, brush painting and drinking Diet Coke. But finally it is a finished product with new furniture, and draperies, I absolutely love it! I love seeing my hard work turn into something so beautiful - I know it was hardly my hard work, but hey, I helped. :)

Anyhow, I got off subject, this is about my new family. I LOVE them! After all my years of hearing horror stories and watching movies depicting nightmares of in-laws, I was sure that with my luck I would get the worst of the worst, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Jeff's parents and grandma welcomed me into their home immediately, and I felt very comfortable with everyone (even the two darling dogs) from the very beginning.

Now, I know I haven't made my story with Jeff entirely well known, but let's just say that we moved pretty fast according to the worlds standards from when we met to the time we got engaged and then to the time we got married. My family, of course, had no problem with this as it is very common for this to happen in LDS (Mormon) communities, and my family is LDS.

Jeff's family is not LDS, (I'm still not sure what their religious beliefs are - I guess I'm still a little intimidated to bring up such a deep subject.) anyhow, they were not used to such rapid movement in a relationship. Now, I don't know what they might or might not have said to Jeff, but they were always very kind and non-judgemental to me. I'm sure it must have been a scary idea to let their son just marry an almost complete stranger, but they had some kind of faith in us, and didn't try to talk us out of getting married so soon.

Now, don't get me wrong, Jeff and I have had our fair share of struggles as we have been getting to know each other better and learning how to live with as husband/wife, but I imagine they aren't much different than most other couples go through when they first marry or begin living together.

Gosh, I keep getting off track! Anyhow, my in-laws accepted me into the family immediately and treated me like a daughter. I still don't know them nearly as well as I would like to, but the more I get to know them, the more I love them. Jeff and I live in the same city as his parents and grandma, so we get the chance to see them once a week at least - it is great to spend time together hearing them talk about old memories and family experiences, playing kings in the corner, eating MARVELOUS food and cakes, watching movies and just hanging around chatting. I truly feel that I have another family, and it is wonderful.

Loves,
Rachael